


Miss Missing You

by Rionaa



Series: Trade All My Tomorrows [6]
Category: Bandom, Fall Out Boy
Genre: Could be triggering, I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Past Character Death, Stay safe folks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-30
Updated: 2015-10-30
Packaged: 2018-04-28 23:55:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5110154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rionaa/pseuds/Rionaa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Patrick's story from I'm Not Okay</p>
            </blockquote>





	Miss Missing You

Patrick Stump's world came to an end on the fourteenth of January. The date itself was fairly unextraordinary. Until that day it had slipped past him unnoticed every year, unmarked, unimportant. Until the year when everything changed.

. . .

Patrick could remember exactly where he was and what he had been doing when it had happened. Well, not exactly, but when he found out it had been 2:37 in the afternoon and he had been washing up after baking a cake to surprise his boyfriend, Pete.

He had been singing along to his favourite song at the top of his lungs with his hands in the water, filling the room with rich, full notes as his voice swelled with the music.

. . .

Now he can't bring himself to listen to that song anymore.

. . .

He can barely bring himself to do anything anymore.

. . .

When the phone rang, shrill and discordant against the song currently filling the room, Patrick almost hadn't answered it. He'd almost left his hands buried in the soap suds, let the phone ring out into silence.

. . .

Part of him still believes that if he had done that it wouldn't have become true, if he hadn't answered the phone, then maybe it wouldn't have happened at all.

. . .

But he did.

. . .

But it had.

. . .

He had pulled his hands out of the water and dried them on the tea towel hanging on the back of the chair.

"Hello, is this Patrick Stump?"

Yes, who is this?

He had still had a smile on his face as he answered, the refrain of that accursed song still ringing out around him, so unaware, so happy.

. . .

He's almost forgotten what it feels like to be happy.

. . .

When they told him, he had dropped the phone to the floor, then dropped himself, collapsing to the ground with the sudden force of shock.

The sobs had come soon after, huge and uncontrollable, racking his whole body, seeming to shake the very earth, for what was there to hold it steady anymore?

The nurse on the other end of the line had sent a taxi to pick him up but he hadn't gone with it.

Instead he had headed out and driven to the top of the bridge.

Sitting on the side of the road with his legs hanging off the edge of the bridge, he had been surprised at the number of people who had stopped and asked if he was alright.

It made him wonder why no one had stopped earlier that day.

Patrick had stayed on the bridge for three hours, just sitting and crying.

Twenty six people had stopped for him.

. . .

When Patrick got back to his house the kitchen was full of smoke and the cake was a cinder in the oven.

. . .

Patrick hadn't gone to the funeral.

. . .

Two weeks after It happened, Patrick returned to the bridge. He walked across its expanse, watching his feet until he was two streets away. When he looked up his face was streaked with tears he hadn't realised were falling.

. . .

53 days after It happened, Patrick found a woman on the bridge and pulled her back from the edge. He took her into a café and talked with her for a while. She walked out with newfound hope. He walked out a little more broken but with a little more purpose.

. . .

Patrick drives over the bridge every day. Eight people are still alive today because of him.

. . .

None of them will ever be Pete.

**Author's Note:**

> Please remember suicide is never the answer.
> 
> Samaritans Suicide Helpline - UK - 116 123  
> National Suicide Prevention Lifeline - USA and Canada - 1-800-273-TALK  
> Lifeline Australia - AUS - 13 11 14
> 
> You are important to so many people, if you feel suicidal please talk to someone.  
> I love you all,  
> Rionaa


End file.
